


Cards

by leporidae



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, M/M, Slight Kagakuro, like really really slight, slight midotaka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leporidae/pseuds/leporidae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Generation of Miracles, Kagami, and Takao play a rather questionable game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kotaka_kun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotaka_kun/gifts).



> Part three of five. Two more to go!
> 
> This one wound up pretty silly.

"Why am I… sticky?" Midorima repeats the black card with disdain in his voice. There are multiple snickers from around the room, and Midorima's embarrassed scowl only deepens. " _Ahem._ If you're all done with the mockery, I will read out the... _choices._ "

Kise has to bite back another chortle. Only Midorima Shintarou would try to take a game of Cards Against Humanity seriously. 

"Number one. …Me."

Aomine is shaking with silent laughter next to him, so Kise knows who played _that_ card. Fitting.

"Flying... sex snakes."

That had been Kise's card, one he'd just played to get rid of. No sense in using any of his good cards against someone like Midorima, who would pick the tamest option no matter what. It is, however, funny to watch him struggle to read any of the even mildly scandalous cards. Apparently Takao, situated on Midorima's other side, is having similar thoughts, as he is practically eating his own fist in an attempt not to make noise.

“Wifely duties.”

“I bet Takaocchi played that card,” Kise interjects, locking eyes with Takao and winking meaningfully.

Midorima squints at him over his glasses. “Why?”

 _Is Midorimacchi for real?_ “Because –”

Takao waves one hand. “Don’t even bother, Kise-kun… don’t even bother.”

Midorima seems offended that the two of them have shared an understanding he isn’t a part of, but he lets the subject drop to continue sifting through the cards.

“The heart of a child.” He glances in Akashi’s direction, but conveniently Rakuzan’s captain is looking the other way, so Midorima narrows his eyes and moves on. "Smegma. ...Smegma? What's smegma?"

On Kise's other side, Aomine yawns lazily. "Google it."

Takao slaps Midorima's back with one hand. "God, Shin-chan, _please_ google it."

Across the room, Akashi is now sporting a rather pained expression. (How anyone had convinced him to join this madness is beyond Kise, but there he is, and participating to boot.) "Shintarou, if you have any sense whatsoever - do _not_ google smegma."

Curiosity and Takao’s nagging win over. Midorima does, in fact, google smegma, and judging by the horrified expression that appears on his face, it was indeed a bad choice.

(Later, after some prodding, Kuroko admits that he was the one who had played the smegma card - though neither he nor Akashi admit why they knew about smegma in the first place. Some of this world's mysteries, Kise decides, are better left unexplained.)

Midorima clears his throat. “Moving on…”

Midorima ends up making his choice, and as usual, it’s the least sexual possible option: Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza – played by Murasakibara, of course. Everyone giggles as he reads out both “trademarks” with an almost pompous air. Once the amusement has died down, he passes the deck of black cards to his right, into Kise’s hands. _Ah, the responsibility of the Card Czar._ Since he’s not a fuddy-duddy like Midorima, and isn’t ashamed to read out anything, it’s always a tossup what the others will throw in the pile for him.

With a smirk, Kise plucks the top card off the deck with a flourish and reads it to the group.

“During sex, I like to think about – _blank._ ”

Midorima, as usual, instantly looks uncomfortable. Takao is already laughing again, and Murasakibara is concentrating harder on his bag of chips than on the game. The others – Kagami, Kuroko, Akashi, and Aomine – are sifting through their cards with purpose. The anticipation Kise feels can only be rivaled by the adrenaline rush he experiences during a basketball game.

Once everyone has put their cards in the center, Kise picks up the deck.

_Here we go._

“50,000 volts straight to the nipples. …Well, I guess, if you’re into that… A mime having a stroke. Hmm. …Bees?”

“Who the fuck thinks about bees during sex?” Aomine grumbles. “Oi, Kagami – that was your card, I saw it. Why are you thinking about bees during sex?”

Kagami bristles. “And why were you looking at my cards, asshole?”

“You were waving them around, I couldn’t help it,” Aomine replies lazily. “This is why you can’t get laid – you think about bees during sex.”

“Shut up, you dick,” Kagami growls.

“I honestly feel sorry for Tetsu.”

“I said shut up!”

While those two are bickering, Kise goes through the rest of the cards one by one until he reaches the end. The last card is a blank card with the response scribbled on in washable marker. Kise glances at the card, and –

“Eh? Aominecchi…?”

Aomine grunts. “What?”

Kise shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t talking to you… Someone wrote in ‘Aomine.’”

“Oh?” Now it’s Takao who’s speaking up, prompting a sigh from Midorima. “Do you? Do you think about Aomine-kun during sex?” Midorima is looking off into the distance as if to pretend he has no affiliation with his nosy teammate.

“Takaocchi…”

“Don’t even give him the satisfaction,” Kagami says, rolling his eyes.

Kise turns away from the both of them to face the offending party. “Aominecchi… did you write this?”

The former ace of Teiko’s lips curl into a smirk. “Will telling you make you less likely to pick it?”

He considers the question and decides there’s no sense shying away from it. One prudish Midorima is enough for one social gathering. So instead he mirrors Aomine’s expression with a mischievous one of his own. “I was thinking about picking it anyway – for the sake of accuracy, after all.”

The room goes silent. To Takao’s – and everyone else’s – credit, no one laughs.

For a moment, anyway.

Then – 

“Haha – you got me.” Aomine’s smirk has become challenging. “It was mine.”

“I already knew that,” Kise says. “I’d know your shitty handwriting anywhere.”

“ _Rude._ ”

Kuroko clears his throat. “Aomine-kun, Kise-kun… if you two are done flirting, can we move the game along? Midorima-kun looks like he’s about to run away.”

“Tch – _Kuroko!_ ”

Kise passes the deck of black cards – and the winning card of the round – to his right. To Aomine. “Yeesh – give me a break, Kurokocchi! Yeah, we’re done.”

As he takes the deck from Kise, Aomine mouths something that, in their current position facing one another, only he can see.

_For now._


End file.
